


what friends are for

by the_aaliyah_rose_black



Category: Titanic (1997)
Genre: Anxiety, Charles Lightoller and William Murdoch Are Best Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff with Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I love the officers, M/M, RMS Titanic, Same with Moody and Lowe, Sensory Overload, Titanic Officers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:02:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28604133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_aaliyah_rose_black/pseuds/the_aaliyah_rose_black
Summary: in which james moody panics and his fellow officers are there to help him.
Relationships: Charles Lightoller & William Murdoch, James Moody & Charles Lightoller, James Moody & William Murdoch
Kudos: 8





	what friends are for

**Author's Note:**

> the officers are my favorite, and i always cry for them when i watch the movie, sorry jack and rose. especially murdoch and moody. poor moody was so young, he was only 24 and the only junior officer to die. 
> 
> now, i am NO titanic expert, so i'm going off the movie (1997). and please don't yell at me in the comments.

Everything's just _too_ much sometimes.

Ever since he was a kid, James would sometimes get these episodes, as his sister put them, where everything would be too much. He could hear every small little sound, the lights seemed too bright, and it felt as though his heart would pound out of his chest. He hasn't gotten one of his episodes in a year or two, and it just had to happen now. 

From the moment he woke up at six o'clock that morning to prepare for his eight am watch, he knew it wasn't going to be a good day. His stomach felt twisted into knots, and the light coming through the small window felt too bright. He groaned slightly as he forced himself out of bed, changing out his pajamas into his uniform, sliding his gloves on before managing to eat a few small bites of toast that the Chief Officer, Henry Wilde, forced him to eat. 

James winced as he stepped outside of the bridge to where he would be on watch from eight am to twelve pm, the bright sunlight seemingly brighter today. Were the wind and the sound of the steam vents louder than they usually were? Shaking his head, he walked to the metal railing, resting his arms on the material.

After a half-hour, everything just got worse. The sunlight seemed too bright, reflecting on the metal in a way that makes him want to kick the railing off the ship. The sound of the steam vents makes his head pound mercilessly, getting louder every few minutes. And oh god, he can hear the sound of teacups tinkering against each other a few feet away, along with the barking of dogs and the tap of women's heels against the deck floor as they walk past him. His chest feels tightened, and his heart starting to pound. 

Taking a deep breath, James clenched his hands together and began rubbing his thumb on his leather glove, trying to find comfort in the soothing sensation and the feel of leather against leather. Rocking back on forth slightly on his feet, it felt like he was on a sailboat. He can feel the eyes of passerby's on him, but he's getting too deep in his own head to notice. 

He's so in his own head, that he doesn't hear the sound of footsteps walking toward him, but he does violently flinch when he feels someone put their hand on his shoulder, accompanied by a familiar low voice. 

"James?" 

He opened his eyes to see Charles Lightoller standing in front of him, a worried look in his eyes, his hand no longer on his shoulder, and suddenly everything comes back to him. He lost the safe haven he created for himself, and his heart feels now as if it could pound out of his chest, his lungs and chest tightening up. Suddenly, the sound of someone exclaiming and a dog barking makes him lose any self-control he had. 

His stomach twists into tighter knots, and he found it impossible to take in a deep breath. He felt dizzy and faint, his heartbeat ringing in his ears, the sounds of the outside world hitting him like a tidal wave. His mind was screaming _stop, stop, stop, stop!,_ and he wanted nothing more than to go run and hide, but all he did was bury his head in his hands and can't help the whine that escapes his throat as his shoulders were shaking and he rocked back and forth. 

Charles swore slightly under his breath, but not out of anger, out of worry for his friend and colleague. James was the youngest out of all the officers, only twenty-four, and naturally, all his fellow officers, including himself, were all protective of him. Racking his brain, he tried to think of how to calm his friend down, when he heard footsteps and someone stop to stand next to him. He turned his head to see William Murdoch, a worried look in his blue eyes as he looked at Charles. 

"What's going on, Lights?" he asked, worry and confusion in his tone. 

"I think Moody's having an overload or something, I found him like this a minute ago," Charles replied back quietly. Will looked at him, then James, before nodding, and a look of understanding passed over his features. He walked toward James before speaking: 

"James," he spoke quietly, but loud enough so that James could hear him over the steam vents, "is it okay if I put my hand on your shoulder? It's completely fine if you don't want me to." He waited a few moments before James nodded so small that both Will and Charles almost didn't catch it. He gently placed his hand on his friend's shaking shoulder, the other flinching for a moment before stilling. "I want you to take deep breaths in through your nose."

"I _can't,_ " James whined, his voice rough which he can assume is probably tears, and he sounded so miserable that it broke Charles's heart. "I can't...I can't _breathe..._ " 

"Yes, you can," Will assured in a quiet but firm tone. "Can you try to take deep breaths? In through your nose, one, two, three, four, five, six," he took exaggerated breaths to try to get James to do the same, and Charles watched in amazement but he was still worried. He knew Wilde had seen him earlier, _he'll ask him later..._

"There you go," Will praised once James took a deep breath, "you're doing good. Take another breath like that, it'll be over soon. Concentrate on your breathing, not on anything else." 

Charles watched in the background as Will slowly but surely calmed James down, his breathing going back to normal and he stopped shaking.

He looked up, sweat decorating his eyebrows, and his eyes bloodshot red. He glances between Will and Charles, who are watching him worriedly, his cheeks flushing.

"Sorry," he whispered. 

"What for?" Will asked, his brows furrowed in confusion. James raised an eyebrow and he nodded, squeezing his shoulder. "James, you don't have to be ashamed for something like that. We're your friends."

"Will's right," Charles agreed, stepping forward. "And if you ever feel overwhelmed like that again, please tell us." James looked down then up, his eyes glancing between the two older men in front of him, before nodding. 

So, two days later, on the right of April 14th, Charles saw James on the bridge, pacing back and forth, his breathing hard. So, as Will was helping set up the boats, he walked over to his friend and helped him steady his breathing.

Because that's what friends are for. 

**Author's Note:**

> i hoped you liked this! this is based on my own experiences with panic attacks, and i've researched on sensory overloads, but if there's anything i got wrong, please let me know! i might also write a murdoch and lightoller fic, where one of them is suffering from seasickness, because i love sickfics.


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